- Counseling request
or Profile registration
- Membership fee
(from USD 100 up to 1,000 a year)
- Confirmation of the
dating arrangement (USD 50)
- Marriage arrangement
(additional payment as an honorarium)
Many Korean American singles want to seek Korean spouse for cultural ties.
But dating opportunities are limited, and online dating apps/sites are
far from serious dating because they do not provide reliable service.
* Office hour: 10AM ~ 6PM
(closed on weekend and holiday)
Currently I am supervising a matching service for 6 months in Korea and the other 6 months in the States. The business that had begun in a small attic has grown up to be a global business in 26 years.
While I am doing matchmaking, I have lots of hard times, really hard times especially in the States. There are many first-class brides and first-class bridegrooms who have only a few chances of meeting in the States. If it were in Korea, they must have a variety of choices.
A mother consulted me about her son’s marriage. This gentleman born in 1976 is a best candidate as he is tall and does a lucrative hotel business inherited from his parents. He had, however, very limited chances of meeting because his parents wanted him to marry an ethnic Korean woman. Another woman from New Jersey was graduated from a renowned university, and is a dental doctor. She told me that she and her parents wanted an ethnic Korean gentleman, and thus she had few chances of meeting.
Now I am in the States for several months, and getting these kinds of requests frequently. Each and every one of them is the best candidates for marriages. There will be hundreds of these kinds of men and women in the States. The United States is such a humongous country that these men and women have difficulty in finding the suitable partners. I think I have responsibility to have these men and women meet their partners because they ask help at Sunoo, Inc.
The mothers of these men and women make calls for around 80% of women and 60% of men applicants. Once a friend of mine who lives in New Jersey called me, said that his son is a really good candidate, and asked me to give his son a chance. When I checked the member listing, I found out that his son’s name was already on the list. In such cases I feel pride that Sunoo, Inc. is doing a really good job.
I am working a day by perusing the application materials, meeting those applicants and their parents, and musing on what the future of the applicants will be.
Currently there are lots of inquiries from Korea. If there were 2 inquiries per month in the past, there are around 10 inquiries per month now. It is tenfold increase. This means that there are so many people who want come to the States to live. A certain beauty A was born in 1989 in Korea, and her father is an upper-class entrepreneur in Korea. She might do it well if she wants to marry in Korea. A certain man B is 32 years old, and graduated from a renowned university in Korea. His father is a high-level public officer, his brother is a medical doctor, and was brought up in an affluent family. He majored engineering in college, and wants to work and advance his career in Silicon Valley.
The world has changed a lot, and people may do almost they want in Korea. Nevertheless, the United States is regarded as kind of a utopia and the center of the world among the multitude of the young people. Therefore, many young people want to live in the States by marrying somebody in the States. The interesting thing is that there are many who want to stay in the States after marriage but only a few want to stay in Korea after marriage. Whether it is from Korea to the States or from the States to Korea, the young people’s meetings get more frequent as IT develops.
The development of IT is changing the ways the young couples meet. How do the people meet in the global marriage market?
When a man wants to meet a woman in Korea, he need have his messages sent to Korean prospective partners. The message of the couple manager contains the man’s age, occupation, religion, etc. The couple manager does not detail the man’s office name and the university name he graduated. Generally around 100 candidates apply. The couple manager does peruse all the responses from the prospective women, and select around 30 candidates who may be fit to the wishes of the man.
When the man peruses the information of the 30 candidates, and select 15 among the 30 candidates, the couple manager and the man discuss about it, and reduce the number of candidates around 10. The exchanges of communication points are made around this time, and the man communicates with these women through phone calls, emails, and SNS. This process will help the man to find out who is the fittest. The couple manager confirms the willingness of the 10 candidates, and makes the final candidate list about who is going to meet the gentleman in Korea.
When a woman wants to meet a man in the States, she will go through the same process. Such is the trend of meeting based on IT. Especially there are many meetings between candidates in Korea and in the States. The ethnic Korean candidates in the States are still accepting the advices from parents, and they are trying hard to accommodate the parental advices and wishes in their marriages.
Through the years of marriage counseling in the States, I could feel that there are big differences in the philosophy of marriage between the young ethnic Koreans in the States and the young ones in Korea. It is evident when you think of the conditions of favored grooms among the prospective brides.
The parents living in the Midwest applied for the matchmaking service once. The father graduated from a renowned university in Korea, had a profession, and got reputation and wealth. The parents had one son and one daughter. The daughter had an international marriage. The father was eager to have his son married a Korean. His son was, however, rather an average person compared to his father.
He graduated from a middle-level university and was doing quite a big building management enterprise. He was tall and had a good character. I think that this kind of man is sure to get 90+ point among the prospective Korean brides. In Korea, a man with a stable realty income is the most wanted after the collapse of life time occupation concept. The trend that says rich salary worker is better than poor judge is increasing. I think that such a phenomenon is not solely the result of Korean woman’s adherence to wealth.
The men and women that enter the marriage market nowadays had experienced the hard times in the foreign currency crisis and the following economic depression. Getting a job in Korea had been so much difficult. These experiences made young Korean generation “money-wise” in certain ways. Therefore, if the son had been in Korea, I am sure that he would have many chances of getting the spouse.
I introduced a woman with 90+ points to the son. She was a professional with $100,000.- salary, and living in the East Coast. The mother of the woman was satisfied by saying that,” he is sure to be a good man because he was born and raised in such a good family environment.” The response from the daughter was, however, the opposite. The mother was sorry to me that her daughter insisted that she would not meet the prospective spouse. When I asked why she was refusing, the mother told me that the reason was that the man had no profession.
The second woman I introduced to the man had talent and beauty. She was working in an advertisement company with a degree from a university. The father of the prospective partner called me after a while, and said,” I think he is a good man but I think my daughter think in a different way.” The woman did not like a man without an occupation. The most important thing is the man’s capacity, and the financial capacity that the man has currently is not the crops from his works. I was confused a lot because I was not accustomed to the differences of culture and practice between those in the States and in Korea.
I tried to introduce two more times afterwards, but it was not successful due to the refusal of the prospective brides.
I visited the family, conversed with honorable parents and the good young man, and I was certain that this young man was really a good man. A certain woman in the East Coast requested a counsel about the marriage of her daughter whose profession is a medical doctor. I talked about this man, and the woman’s response was positive.
I flew 4 hours by airplane to meet her daughter and talked about this matter because I thought that direct converse would be better than the indirect one through her mother. The lady looked bright and smart. I began talking about the man very cautiously but with a firm belief because I was worried that the man might be regarded as a man without an occupation.
I said,” This man has choices of doing anything if he wants. Building management is more than simply collecting rents. It requires a mind of professionalism. His parents’ wealth is also a merit point. When you have a stable income, you can indulge in whatever you want.” It seemed that my 4 hour flight got worked, and that they believed sincerely what I had said.
I returned after getting their confirmation that they would meet the man. Both partners contacted after a while, and I heard that they promised that the lady would visit the man.
It was a meeting done after many attempts and long endurance.
A beauty born in 1982 living in Kangnam ( A Newtown in Seoul) will come to the States in November to have a meeting with a prospective partner.
She is healthy, has an awesome and beautiful skin, and is stylish. At a glance, she looks like a beauty in plastics. She is, however, a natural beauty. She graduated from a renowned university in Seoul, is a fluent English speaker, and is very active in sports and liberal. She grew up in a family of wealth and peace. If she wanted to find a partner in Korea, she could have a long queue of prospective partners. She comes to the States to meet the partners in the States because she has a dream to live and enjoy the great American life.
On the contrary, there is a 55 year old gentleman with a stable income from an enterprise. He is a true gem in his contemporaries because he has a good job and financial capacity. This gentleman will go to Korea to have a meeting with his prospective partner. In recent years, the frequency of coming to the States and going back to Korea to meet partners has increased pretty much. Thus, the geographical distance between the prospective partners has become meaningless.
Of course there are other factors such as language and the time he/she has been in the States in the female-male meeting. It seems that people are getting to understand the cultural background and personal values nowadays. A man goes back to Korea and a woman comes to the States to meet partner in November, and I wonder how happy they would be after the meetings.
The phone rang, and I responded, hello! A woman over 70 years old called me, and the voice was impressive. I could tell that this woman had taken the brunt of life by herself. She told me that she is currently managing a restaurant in the States, and that she was a Korean nurse employed in West Germany.
She has 3 children, and called me to get counsel about the marriage of her eldest son. Her son graduated from a well-known university, and worked in a global enterprise. He is, however, now helping his mother in the restaurant. She told me that her son got H1 visa times ago, and now he is in an illegal status. I do not know how the American visa is granted exactly. I could not understand, however, why such a man with a college degree and professional career should be in illegal status.
She said,” I have already bought a home for him. He is such a good man.” Her voice has kind of melancholic tone. She proposed a plan to me. She said,” Would you, sir, come to my restaurant to see my son, and tell me if you could arrange a marriage?” She promised me that she would return the expense afterwards if I could simply pretend to be one of the daily customers in that restaurant.
She was born in Korea, spent her youth as a nurse in Germany, and is now an old woman in the States. She spent her youth positively by taking the brunt of life, but could be only a “mother” in front of her son’s destiny.
I decided to meet that man once. I have been to the restaurant with 2 couple managers in a weekend. When I entered saying “hello,” the mother was surprised, and murmured, “You’ve really come.” As I ordered food, she disappeared intentionally to let us see her son working. The son looked healthy and normal. He looked, however, somewhat blue. If the son were in Korea, I think he would be a good husband with that kind of educational background and family. He is, however, an illegal alien even though he is all Americanized in the past 22 years.
I came out of the restaurant after paying $30.- dollars. The mother followed us right afterward and tried to reimburse but I did not get the money back.
And couple of days passed.
The son has hard time now. He has nothing to do even though he returns to Korea.
He is supposed to stay in the States. What’s best for him?
I am pondering over it. It was a meeting of difficult decision-making.
There is a big difference in the meetings of prospective spouses in the States and in Korea. There is “dating companies” in the States that sponsor the meeting only. American people are accustomed to meet each other by their individual feelings. Korean marriage sponsoring company sponsors, however, the meeting on the ground of age, occupation, education level, the place where he/she is from, the parents’ education level and occupation, and many other pertinent things.
Such Korean marriage culture may be somehow strange to those who lived in the States for a long time. A few of those who lived long time in the States may dislike the Korean marriage culture because it puts more importance on those conditions rather on the love.
The basic principles governing the meeting are, however, the same in the States and in Korea. For example, the daughters of the ex-president Obama have high probability of meeting partners in the people that Obama meets. In other words, the family environment and the parental influence get involved greatly in the meeting partners.
There are a variety of ways in meeting partners in the world. Whatever way you may choose, the final decision-making is up to the partners, and the emotion and attraction works here. When the meeting is not fickle enough to be a day’s play but for the marriage, is it possible to meet without the basic quintessential knowledge of prospective spouse’s family, education level, and occupation/profession?
We provide a brief history of a person that may be used as a criterion for the choices of marriage. Such brief history of a person may not be negated as useless conditions without love. Marriage life needs many common things such as common hobby, common conversation topics, and common living.
Dating may be done awhile without such common things when people are blinded by emotion or the environment. When people are married through such dating, the shortage of common things may bring in the divorce sooner or later. The feeling of love may work fine at the beginning of meeting but may not necessarily guarantee the happiness in the marriage life.
If you insist that love is the paramount thing that covers all problems, I would say it will be okay for a while with burning love. However, when the spouses are not conversant to each other, have a completely different set of hobby, have disproportionate education level, and have a much foreign set of family history, they would not have much in common anyways.
In consideration of these phenomena, marriage sponsoring company provides the criteria that can minimize the divorce probability, and thus that maintain the marriage life as happy as possible by the consideration of family background, education level, etc. Our way of marriage is that considers all these pertinent things to perpetuate the wedlock as happy as ever.
Why do Korean parents meddle in the marriages of the sons and daughters?
I’ve done marriage business for 13 years in the States, and 26 years in Korea. I’ve watched lots of couples meet and marry ( 1,100 couples in the States and 30,000 couples in Korea), and I feel much about the Korean culture and the emotional heritage work here.
Korean “Chungmae” is based on completely different background from that of American. Those things may be the presents, marriage expanses, and marital harmony by fortuneteller. The American couples may freely engage in, and marry as they please. Especially, the question “Why do Korean parents interfere in the marriages of the sons and daughters?” may not be understood, and thus couples can’t agree with their parents on this matter.
Couples may feel that they have too many things on their hands, and think that they have the sole decision-making in marriage affairs. Thus some couples have troubles with their parents.
There is so-called Korean “DNA” in the mind of 1st generation Korean parents who got education in Korea or came to the States as adults. The Korean “DNA” has the paramount importance in family and children. Even nowadays many Koreans have only one or two children because the upbringing and education are so much expensive, and thus people say that “ The life of the children is the parents’ transcript.” Such Korean characteristics show up even they live the States. Watch your parents and you will find them. Your parents are those who do whatever they can do to educate their children by working hard in a steaming laundry shop, in a greasy car repair shop, in a sweaty factory, or in a restaurant.
Koreans put the most importance in family life, and thus they cherish the family life. In old times people lived until death together, and there were no divorce or dissolution. Many Koreans hid the divorce/dissolution up until 1980. To the Koreans, the marriage is the paramount family business. Therefore, the “Chungmae” has long history in Korea where marriage is arranged by family members or close acquaintances.
The “Chungmae” practice has decreased in 1990 through 2000. About 30% of Korean marriages are, however, made by “Chungmae” today. If you take consideration about such Korean tradition and feeling, I think you will begin to understand your parents, rather I wish you to understand.
A man born in 1984 with a previous marriage experience is waiting for a woman.
He is a US citizen, lives in upstate New York, and a successful entrepreneur with a home worth $600,000.- He is 168 – 170 cm tall, and has a face like that of handsome college student. He has a good profession and earns $150,000.- yearly. His parents are in education business in Korea, and rich. He is bright and active. He can accommodate any woman. The reason that he is single is that he is so much busy that he could not able to date out much. He has one marriage record that is almost on paper only.
The couple manager recommend a healthy woman to apply, and make a happy and harmonious life. Woman’s financial capacity is not an important factor, but Korean educational background is highly appreciated.
Applications from woman who want to have such a wonderful man as spouse are welcome.
Couple manager: Violet, phone 201-771-3118, email@example.com
Professional men born in 1980 through 1983 are asked to apply for a marriage to an only daughter born in 1985 by a rich Korean entrepreneur.
She started her middle school in the States, graduated from a renown university. Her height is 163 cm.
She does not have jobs yet because she is not financially in need. She has no religion yet, however, she would have when her spouse has one. She loves playing tennis, and active in sports. She is good at Korean and English. Her parents are currently in Korea, and a rich entrepreneur.
She loves to meet men with good character and excellent health. The couple manager would recommend a man with profession and excellent health.
Applications from men with the desire to meet such a wonderful woman are welcome.
Couple manager: Violet, 201-771-3118, firstname.lastname@example.org